Being single when you weren’t (on again off again) for quite a few months is extremely awkward.
It’s not so much how drastically things change (although that sucks too). It’s more of the readjusting to the sort of tail-spin it puts you in. Before I go further , lemme say this: I didn’t get dumped. I ended it. Which kind of opens up a different set of feelings and circumstances which go from guilt , to melancholy , to anger until youre at peace with everything.
What’s been the worst part for me is that “washed out” feeling that splitting leaves you with. It kinda lingers. It’s not even that youre “sad”.We broke up in October ; I felt this way mid November. You just feel kind of “meh” towards a lot of shit. That kind of dismissive feeling towards things then in turn makes you question if you really like anything around you. I’m talking friends…books….games…things that bring you pleasure. Taking away something that somewhat kept you fueled forces you to look at yourself and your environment in a much more honest way.
It’s also kind of weird with women too. There’s the ones who dug me when I was involved and I either A) knew and didn’t entertain it nor did I care or B) I had no idea. The thing is I’ve always prided myself on giving you what you deserve as it comes to truth and facts. If they said “You dont talk to me anymore…” I very clearly said why that was.It’s not like I particularly ran back to ’em after being single either. I had no desire to do so (and my desire for such is up and down as we speak.). For the girls who I just “didn’t know” , it is what it is. Seeing eyebrows raise when I say “yeah that situation is over” then literally seeing the Thirstometer raise doesn’t really warm my soul. I’m not telling you to “up my stock” per se; I’m telling you cause it goes in the flow of the conversation.
As I kinda stumble through this point in life (right on time for me to feel weird and uncomfortable…I’m 25 on Feb 14th aka a lil over 2 weeks from now) , I’ve found myself cutting a lot of stuff out. I stopped eating so much bullshit ( I ate pizza like a Ninja turtle….its been weeks), don’t hang out with people I don’t like , don’t talk to people who bring me stress and idiocy etc. Reading and relaxing more. Looking for a new job…all of that.I think the key to me feeling more “stable” is whittling life down to things that matter and freeing myself of things that don’t. I’ve also been “praying” but not in the typical sense (Robby’s religious views= a whole other post). I also no longer entertain passive aggression. Before all of this , I was very much an “on the fence” guy. Since, I’m very clear on my desires and what point I wanna put forth. Not in this post though. I’m all over the place. Ugh.
Shit is weird right now. But bare with me. Just trying to take my time and feel everything out. I’d like to believe things are coming together on all fronts. As long as I continue to be mindful of who I am and what it is I want from life.
So with INCREASING regularity , I find myself on Twitter. Scrolling my timeline. Being unproductive roughly 60 percent of the time. Ive noticed something…..
There is a completely ridiculous amount of arguments about super stupid shit.
Or make a foolish blanket statement about men or women or antelopes or people who eat apples.
I usually wanna argue with you and call you a moron or violate you.
When I originally thought this , the topic of the moment was gun control. Right now its Beyonce lip-syncing. In the morning it will be North Korea threatening to turn us into chalk dust.
Regardless , I’m no longer mad at people’s opinions or thoughts. As long as you have some sort of conviction and actually believe in what youre expressing.
Somewhere along the line it became cool to not give a fuck. In all seriousness….thats NOT cool. So I’m thankful that you even care enough to form an opinion or have a thought. You could just “no comment” everything but youre willing to stick your neck out there to express yourself. Thank you.
Now don’t get me wrong! If youre a troll , or the run of the mill “Devil’s advocate” tweeter , you are a clown. But if you’re being sincere , thanks for being such. Doesn’t just go for the internet either. No one cares. I’m down for you caring , even if we don’t agree.
And stop tweeting about eating butt. You weirdos. I don’t care how you feel about ass play!
Best Zombies song yet. and Kilo did her thing.
Saw this a few days ago at work when I was pretending to work.
This is what love feels like???? Help.
I mean Hadley St Dreams and True are both really good albums but even if she wasn’t rather talented I’d be groupie’d out. Smh.
Yes her sister is a musical icon but ya know(and rather hot in her own right) but…..whatever. This ain’t about that. It’s about chocolatey Solange *HEART EYES EMOJI HERE*
Lets break up the lust with an actual song.
(seriously. Go listen to True. And Hadley St Dreams. You’ll be glad you did.)
A few years ago I was dating/messing around/who knows with someone. Now this was a light , fun situation. Respect and smiles and all that. We never really beefed (maybe because it wasn’t super serious). Point is , it was a good time. I was like 19-20 and so was she.
So summer ended and we had to return to our rightful schools. We remained cool but kinda left it where it was due to circumstance. No big deal to either of us. Now , in this time at school a certain website was picking up steam.
If you weren’t in the loop then , Juicy Campus was a gossip site based on colleges. It separated each school into message boards , where rumors and such were posted. In hindsight , this shit is childish. In like 07-08 , THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT IN ITS PUREST FORM! Not to mention that some of these “rumors” were factual.
Anyway , I kinda always desired to make Juicy Campus for some lewd shit. I would’ve took some hate too…I didn’t get enough of that in college. Alas , Juicy Campus superstardom was not in the cards for me. However , one night , I had the BRIGHT idea to type her name into the search box and see what came up. I went to her school (no I’m not telling you) and put her info in. I hit “enter” and braced myself……
There were 1 or 2 results. One had no mention of her. But the other said…..
“Best (SEXUAL ACT GIVERS) at (HER SCHOOL)?”
STUNNED , IS WHAT YOUNG ROBBY WAS! Yet I still clicked out of pure curiosity. I know the internet is something you have to take with a grain of salt but….I believed this. I clearly had my reasons. There she was in a list of about 15 girls. Being that we were already done for the most part…I wasn’t tripping. I laughed. Connected the dots because SAID ACT was PRETTY GOOD but GOODBYE. I then got paranoid right after like….Rob….if she doing it enough that she damn near in the internet hall of fame for it…perhaps you should get checked ASAP.
So I did it. Peed in that cup from three point range and bought it right back to the school clinic. Funny thing about the clinic: If I ever walked by and saw you in there? I assumed you had the clap. Every time. I don’t care.
With my FANTASTIC luck , of course the nurse helping is maybe a year or two older than me and she is BAD. So here I am , getting tested , with a light skin princess holding my piss cup. She also decided to test my blood. She pricked my finger and I jumped like a bitch. She gave me the coldest “I might’ve been slightly interested but you here getting a STD test AND you soft like baby shit.” I just let that blood drain and slid up outta there.
Thankfully I came out with a clean bill of health. This situation didn’t make me paranoid or anything either. I’m definitely not one of those “IMMA GOOGLE THIS GIRL!” dudes. Make sure your girl ain’t on HGF though. 0_0!
I just love this. RIP.
I’m always down to answer questions. So…..I decided to field questions about any and everything on Facebook/Twitter. If you want your question in the next few posts , tweet me or shoot me an email (The Rob Report @Gmail dot com). You can also click the little bubble thing up there and comment too. Lets get into it……
Do you ever sniff your socks when you take then off ? – sent by Dominique
Yes , occasionally. And it smells like collard greens and despair. I don’t know what possesses me to do the nasty shit…But I do it. You do it too. ALL OF YOU!
As a darker man living in a society where the women’s love the nilla pie complected man. How do you pull the hoes??? – sent by Gerard
First off , he said hoes. NOT ME!
When I was like 15 , I was on the bus home from HS. These girls kept glancing at me and giggling. I thought nothing of it….cause I was ugly. Not “LOL” ugly….like…ugly (No I wont be showing you any pics!). So a few mins pass and I hear one of the girls say LOUDLY….
“He’s cute but he’s REALLY dark.”
Lowkey , this shit bothered me. Never thought my skin tone made a difference. I was never really conscious or “ashamed” to be dark.
Nowadays….being the same color as a PS3 is in! Luckily for me….I’m a black ass veteran. Been looking like fresh charcoal for a legit 4 years now…so I BEEEENNNN IN STYLE.
I’ve never thought of myself as super handsome or anything (I’m sort of a problem though. FAKE HUMILITY BE DAMNED!) But when it comes to women , over time I’ve come to understand that you just gotta chill. Don’t do too much. Smile. Laugh. Enjoy yourself and show that you don’t take everything too seriously.Showing some ambition never hurt me either. I guess that’s my approach lol.
NOT THATS GIRLS LIKE ME LIKE THAT OR ANYTHING (*COUGH COUGH*)!
first time you thought you were in love – sent by Kwame
What’s funny is Kwame is the first person I told about this moment.
It was recent. like within the last 6-7 months.
The next morning….She asked me if I wanted some tea and I tried a flavor I never had. I watched her make it closely in the kitchen then sipped it excitedly and headed back to her living room. I was sitting on her couch just watching her type away on her Macbook , updating the website she works for. A Miguel video was on (we are both big fans). So we’re sitting there discussing his Art Dealer Chic series of EPs and I noticed I’m grinning. Like uncontrollably grinning. I deeply appreciate her not pointing it out and making me feel lame about it. I’m right next to her , smiling watch this video , and watching her work in pure awe.
That’s the first time I felt I was in love. I didn’t know at the time but I felt “holy shit , I’m so happy and nothing is really going on.” Alas , we are no longer together but there was a lot of good in our relationship (or whatever it could be called at that time). I don’t dwell on the bad but the great parts definitely bring a smile to my face.
Until next time folks.