Mar 22 2013

6th Street Sights or , what really happened at SXSW.

SXSW was a pretty ….wild experience. A few thoughts and pictures.

Trinidad James is a star (and I was wrong. For once!)

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(pardon that guys fat ass neck!!!)

Trinidad was one of the biggest names at Fader Fort last Thursday. I also caught Katie Got Bandz, who did a pretty good job. KAAAAATTTTIIEEEEEEE!!!!

So, I admittedly thought of frontin’ on seeing Mr James for the 3rd time in my life. Thanks to the endless urging from multiple sources, I decided to stick around Fader Fort and give it a go.

Blew my mind. I’m no fan of “Don’t Be S.A.F.E.” but I could not deny what he was doing on that stage. He got to “One More Molly” early (IMO his best song) and I stuck along for the ride. Shocked by his skill (!!!!!!) and mastery of the stage. Soon enough, I was turning up with everyone else in that crowd. I was legit singing along with songs of his that I HATE! He has a way of forcing you to like what he’s doing. Another thing that really stuck out about Trinidad is he’s VERY humble and thankful to be in his position. Every time he addressed the crowd, it felt “natural”. He deeply appreciated every soul under that sweaty ass tent in the middle of Austin. Also, shoutout to my dirty ass shoes that I acquired here; I’m probably never going to clean them because I don’t care that much.

Thank you, Trinidad James. Sorry for doubting.

Baauer is NOT overrated.

I was lucky enough to catch Baauer at show put on by Night Supply. The bill was Just Blaze/Baauer/Big Sean but that last guy decided not to show for whatever reason. Since I wanted to continue being drunk and touching butts, my soul burned a little bit. Not to worry…Baauer saves the day. He really went to work in the very dark, yet cavernous venue.

Baauer worked the crowd into a froth and he DIDN’T play Harlem Shake. He has a great ability to read the crowd and is well versed in various types of music, including rap in all of its varieties. If you like music, you would’ve enjoyed Baauer. If you expected it to be a Harlem Shake WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE LIGHTS FLASHING sorta deal all night, you’d be pleasantly surprised. I was also drunk as shit. Here’s some visual proof of how chopped I was.

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Shoutout to Kat for sending me the pic AND tying my based headgear  onto my very drunk scalp. No, I don’t know what the hell that lint is in my beard.

Time with your friends from various walks of life is always great.

Time spent with my #NT savages and my friends from back home. Got to introduce them and put those two worlds together for a little while. Far as I’m concerned, it went rather smoothly.

I also bumped into artists who I consider friends that ALSO make music I enjoy.

Noah Caine, The Boy Illinois, Audra The Rapper. All people I’ve known for some time (especially Audra, as we went to school together.) It’s beautiful seeing your friends work towards their dreams and get closer and closer to success so quickly. Situations like these is really what SXSW was built on.

I also stopped Kris Kasanova in the street to express how much I appreciate his music and progress. I don’t know him personally but I met him through a friend. I take time to show love when we cross paths because that’s important. If you’re a fan of someone’s work and get a chance to tell them in real life? Do it. I have 94% of the time. I choked on talking to Kanye but that’s ’cause he was trying to ninja lurk through SoHo.

I told Victor Cruz what up.

Please come back to NYG, Victor.

I saw Earl Sweatshirt over and over. He was at near my gate the day I flew in and the day I flew out. He looked tired….people still bothered the hell out of him lmao. I understand fully….because he is skilled.

Seeing people perform who have dominated your music choices for months is a crazy feeling.

Perfect example of this is Aston Matthews. He’s from Cali so I didnt forsee having a chance to see him perform anytime soon. Thrasher CLEARLY loves me because they put him in a showcase. I came to see him and ASAP Ferg but I was more than satisfied seeing Aston do his thing. He’s confident, his music is quality, and he has very good people around him. I chopped it up with one of the dudes from his crew “Cutthroat” and he said “yo come turn up when Aston gets on stage!” When Aston did “Latino Heat”, the place turned into a madhouse. I had a stupid grin on my face; it was like seeing a friend make it. Good things lie in his future.

I also got to catch GrandeMarshall in Fader Fort. I’ve met Grande a few times and he’s always shown love. Seeing someone who moves around like a regular dude get and maintain the attention of a Fader Fort crowd, far from home? Madness. I also dug how A-Trak holds him down and vouches for him with such conviction. It’s clear that Fool’s Gold believes in Grande and that’s vital. I feel lucky that I got to even be in Austin for such a big moment. Grande went up there and performed like the crowd didn’t affect him at all. Perfect recreations of the songs on his tape 800.

Heartbreak.

I missed Future, who decided to destroy Fader that night.

I missed Inc., who’s album I bought off of the strength of one song. I then commenced to listen to the CD for nearly a week straight.

I missed Waaves, about 3-4 times. I am a loser.

I airballed on Solange because I am an idiot who doesn’t read the fine print and I am impatient.

Chief Keef cancelled on a lineup that was GBE/RL Grime/Baauer/Flatbush Zombies/etc……the line was as long as the Trail of Tears and we were there an hour and a half. I stared to the skies and hoped BasedGod would deliver me from this pain…..did not happen.

This is my second time going to SXSW. Shows get cancelled. You miss stuff. It happens. It just happened A LOT because stuff that would’ve been a cakewalk to get into last year was like trying to sneak into Area 51 this year. But I won’t complain.

I was real god damn drunk. We were real god damn drunk. 

We were thoroughly chopped. Don’t think anyone around me was sober after 4 all week.

Me?? I was perpetually destroyed because A)back home I really don’t go out or drink that often B)I enjoy being irresponsible out of town.

Last year, we spent a LOT of time in a bar called Toulouse. This bar has 5 dollar mason jars. Mason jars of what?? Whatever your soon to be straining from this greasy ass Texas food heart desires! We prefer the “Adios” jar because it gets you remixed real quickly and is by far the strongest. I was throwing those shits back like Berry Kool Aid. Predictably, I got a lil wild , bros.

Prolly my worst case of “lord help me , I’m very drunk” was Thursday. I believe (THINGS ARE HAZY) I started off with two Stormy Seas (pls Google) that were free at this event. A Rum and Coke. Another Rum and Coke…..another Rum and Coke. This was before I even touched Toulouse. A few hours later I end up in Toulouse with the ever sweet Patrina. We went to ODU together and I haven’t seen her in years; I had no choice but to get her drunk. So I knocked down 2 Adios. She knocked down 2 Adios. All I remember from there is getting dubbed/twerked to the point I was squished UNDER the bar. I also remember vigorously squeezing A LOT of asses that were literally offered to me. At this point I’m nearly half blind but I can identify a southern ass in my clutches blindfolded. In short , I WAS LIVING.

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(screenshot because the actual pic is lost in cyberspace…Patrina unfortunately lost her phone that night)

Patrina intro’d me to these 4 fine YELLABONES from Houston. I was so thrashed that I blew it when I shook one of their hands. She saw me fail and gave my half balled up hand a slap/pound then a handshake. SMH. All was rectified by one of her friends offering me her ass to squeeze. Why me??? ‘Cause real black is back…..fam. Looking like the iPhone dark side of the moon emoji is never a negative.

Every night I entered that bar I definitely said and did shit that would make my mother shake her head. She’s probably going to read this so: Hello , MommyRav.

So yeah go to the Toulouse. Ass will end up in your hand every night. Or maybe that’s just me. LOL!!!!!!!

All in all, Austin was fun. It was tough , it included stress, but I think we still managed to work it and win where we could. If you have a chance to go , do it.

Mar 7 2013

quarters.

I’ve been 25 for a little over 2 weeks now.

I wasn’t even excited really. I had mixed feelings about it. Don’t get me wrong ; I was always happy to make it there (every moment above ground is to be appreciated.),but I didn’t see the big deal. I like the finer things and such but I’m really no fan of chest pounding , especially for something like “living another year”. I kinda got my head right maybe a week and a half before my birthday and said “Rob….this is a big deal.”

Not in the sense of the modern black man ideal of “I didn’t think I’d make it here.” I knew I’d be 25, even when my life was in danger. Ask anyone who’s faced their own mortality; you never wonder about the “future”. You just focus on the moment. The lesson that shitty experience taught me kind’ve got lost on me over time. I had a span where I found myself unable to appreciate the life I’ve lead up to this point and how great my reality is. For my own sake , a little bit before 25 I changed in a DRASTIC sense. This all coincided with me going “so what do you REALLY wanna do for your birthday?”

So , I set out to hit bars across the city with my squad. I left my job literally a week before my birthday (I’d express my thoughts on it here but I legally can’t. CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENTS FOR THE LOSS!) So , realistically , I’m inviting people from work who no longer see me every day , on Valentines Day Weekend on a cold night. My former coworkers and everyone else I invited had every right to not show face.To be very honest with you , I had no idea if anyone would really show up. If it would even be fun. Amongst other silly concerns.

At some point later in the night , on bar #4 , after roughly 15 people or so have come and gone in my little birthday posse….it hit me. People like and appreciate me. These are all people who matter to me and I’ve tried my best to express how much they mean to me ,even though I know I sometimes don’t do the best job of such. For so many people to still show (and attempt to show…I definitely gave out some horrible , drunken directions) meant so much to me. I woke up the next morning with a grin that wouldn’t go away. How lucky am I? I don’t even feel I’ve done enough for people to show me love like this but it’s deeply appreciated. To me 25 will represent one thing ; love. How much of it I get to feel. How much I give out. How much more I will experience. The craziness of life sometimes makes me lose all of this in the shuffle but I pledge to never forget moments like that night.

I say all of that to say thank you. If you came. If you didn’t come. If you told me happy birthday. It all matters to me , down to the smallest gesture. It’s all huge to me. I very vividly remember having absolutely no friends and feeling like a fish out of water every day. Now that my reality is so very different from that , I’m just thankful. That will be the key going forward….being thankful for every part of the process.

By Robby Rav.
1
Feb 21 2013

worth.

I got lost in New York. This happens all the time. Then my phone battery was on its last legs (don’t charge your 4S on an iPad charger folks). Luckily , I knew where the hell I was going. Just needed to find an L train stop and continue my shopping trip.

I somehow recognized where to go immediately and excitedly crossed the street. I got to the middle and my heart just sank.

I didn’t care about these things I bought. I needed all of them to varying degrees. But it suddenly meant nothing to me. I almost gave up on the last leg of my shopping in Brooklyn (I was coming from downtown Manhattan).

I kinda felt like….is this it? Money and shit I can buy? I won’t lie to you; buying clothes and such fills me with satisfaction at times. Possessions are cool but I felt….empty. Almost “guilty” when I shouldn’t feel guilty. But perhaps there are better places to spend my money?

But in reality it’s not even about the money. If life has taught me anything it’s taught me that everything is cyclical. You will have surplus ; you’ll have nothing. The thing is it always comes back around. I’ve been BROKE , waiting for those super measly Student Government exec board checks to appear. I’ve also been UP and bought all sorts of dumb shit with not a care in the world. I’m never irresponsible with money ; I just know at times you will have it and at other times you won’t.

Growing up as someone who had whatever I wanted…it kind of worked in the reverse for me. I wasn’t “spoiled”. I can appreciate the material. I just don’t feel its necessary nor am I moved by it. My goals have never really been about “how much money can I make/how many kicks can I buy/can I cover my entire forearm in watches?” All of that shit is fleeting. Love and appreciation from those around you and doing what you can to help is far more valuable to me. Always has been. I think I need to “help” more and offer more of myself to the universe.

Id like to touch a few lives and theres no gadget or silly trinket that can do that. It starts with me.

Feb 16 2013

…but really though.

You know what term/thought process always rubbed me the wrong way?

Sloppy Seconds.

Now…now before you judge and begin to wonder where the hell this is going , bear with me.

I always see or hear it used in the same instances.

Let me start with the worst.

The Phantom Sloppy Seconds

“Nah son I’m not doing it because I heard someone hit!”

“Who?”

“I dunno I just heard….”

(-_-). Not to air it out but a friend of mine just refused to even bother with a girl we both know who was throwing it to him on a go route. He had the corner beat by like 5 steps but he didn’t want that box touchdown. Because she is an alleged whore. That no one can verify. Oh.

He was clearly concerned that other PEOPLE we knew drummed her when in REALITY…they probably did not. He more than likely even USED the term sloppy seconds. Foolishness.

Don’t let some shit you can’t verify separate you from someone you’re interested in. If your energy is right , you can feel people out. You can tell who’s good for you and who just isn’t if you just….allow yourself to feel it. Always held true for me and I’m a regular dude. This isn’t just in a romantic aspect either.

Your Ex is getting plowed/plowing someone new and you are bitter Sloppy Seconds.

Now , you’ve either done this or know someone who did. You become aware that a past conquest/bae/boo/lover/wifeyyyyyy/hubbyboo has someone new. Perhaps you even know that person. You hiding those tears as you bark out….

“THATS AIGHT , THATS MY SLOPPY SECONDS! HE/SHE CAN HAVE MY LEFTOVERS!!!”

Your soul bleeding when you say that shit….but it sounds cool. You think you got the world fooled; you do not.

If you didn’t care , you wouldn’t say some extra salted popcorn shit like that. But it happens allll the time. Face it: someone will be after you just like someone was before you. Sometimes it’s tough to accept they’ve moved on; sometimes it isn’t. Either way….don’t play yourself like this! They are not your “sloppy seconds”. Just someone from your past. Now go watch a funny movie or something and lighten up.

and finally….

“That’s My Dude’s Old Jawn But She Bad Doe But He Said Its Okay So Yeah” Seconds

No. Just no.

If he liked her?? Like had feelings?? Don’t do this avoidable shit to yourself.

Dudes ALWAYS lie in this situation because they don’t want their friends to think they are “soft” or “cuffing” when in all reality….asking your friend to not penetrate someone you once/still love is….A PERFECTLY FINE REQUEST.

But thats hindsight. At 20 , this isn’t such a clear choice. After that though……the excuse disappears.

I can speak to this because I’ve been on both sides of . I passive aggressively said I had a problem with it as opposed to “FOH I’LL KILL YOU”…which is what I felt on the inside. Long story short , it didn’t really go anywhere cause he fumbled the cooch in the 4th quarter and I ended up exacting revenge indirectly in the future. BUT YEAH…… situations like these are bullshit from top to bottom. No idea if women end up in this sorta spot (and if so….lemme know in the comments.) To get back to the point , these type of “seconds” situations have far too many awkward subplots.

I’m not talking about you weirdos who share girls with your dogs. Unless you dunking groupies and yall popular or something this shit has always made me kinda cringe. I could NEVER and I LOVE my inner circle. We have plenty in common ; the same snooches is just two feet past where I wanna go. If y’all dont care and the person yall about to share doesn’t care…well shit….cook. JUST DONT ASK ME TO GET INVOLVED …YUCK MAN.

Before I go let me say this:

We are all Sloppy Seconds. Me. You. The girl who rung up your Funnyuns tonight. The bartender dude. Unless you 13 years old , whoever you meet has had someone else in the past. If that’s keeping you up at night….you have bigger issues at hand. No one wants untouched snow. Unless the prospect of sex being reduced to sliding up and down on top of a surfboard is your kind of scene. If it is……..cool. It’s 2013….Robby isn’t judging.

Jan 30 2013

real real late.

Being single when you weren’t (on again off again) for quite a few months is extremely awkward.

It’s not so much how drastically things change (although that sucks too). It’s more of the readjusting to the sort of tail-spin it puts you in. Before I go further , lemme say this: I didn’t get dumped. I ended it. Which kind of opens up a different set of feelings and circumstances which go from guilt , to melancholy , to anger until youre at peace with everything.

What’s been the worst part for me is that “washed out” feeling that splitting leaves you with. It kinda lingers. It’s not even that youre “sad”.We broke up in October ; I felt this way mid November. You just feel kind of “meh” towards a lot of shit. That kind of dismissive feeling towards things then in turn makes you question if you really like anything around you. I’m talking friends…books….games…things that bring you pleasure. Taking away something that somewhat kept you fueled forces you to look at yourself and your environment in a much more honest way.

It’s also kind of weird with women too. There’s the ones who dug me when I was involved and I either A) knew and didn’t entertain it nor did I care or B) I had no idea. The thing is I’ve always prided myself on giving you what you deserve as it comes to truth and facts. If they said “You dont talk to me anymore…” I very clearly said why that was.It’s not like I particularly ran back to ’em after being single either. I had no desire to do so (and my desire for such is up and down as we speak.). For the girls who I just “didn’t know” , it is what it is. Seeing eyebrows raise when I say “yeah that situation is over” then literally seeing the Thirstometer raise doesn’t really warm my soul. I’m not telling you to “up my stock” per se; I’m telling you cause it goes in the flow of the conversation.

As I kinda stumble through this point in life (right on time for me to feel weird and uncomfortable…I’m 25 on Feb 14th aka a lil over 2 weeks from now) , I’ve found myself cutting a lot of stuff out. I stopped eating so much bullshit ( I ate pizza like a Ninja turtle….its been weeks), don’t hang out with people I don’t like , don’t talk to people who bring me stress and idiocy etc. Reading and relaxing more. Looking for a new job…all of that.I think the key to me feeling more “stable” is whittling life down to things that matter and freeing myself of things that don’t. I’ve also been “praying” but not in the typical sense (Robby’s religious views= a whole other post). I also no longer entertain passive aggression. Before all of this , I was very much an “on the fence” guy. Since, I’m very clear on my desires and what point I wanna put forth. Not in this post though. I’m all over the place. Ugh.

Shit is weird right now. But bare with me. Just trying to take my time and feel everything out. I’d like to believe things are coming together on all fronts. As long as I continue to be mindful of who I am and what it is I want from life.

Jan 24 2013

appreciated.

So with INCREASING regularity , I find myself on Twitter. Scrolling my timeline. Being unproductive roughly 60 percent of the time. Ive noticed something…..

There is a completely ridiculous amount of arguments about super stupid shit.

Or make a foolish blanket statement about men or women or antelopes or people who eat apples.

I usually wanna argue with you and call you a moron or violate you.

When I originally thought this , the topic of the moment was gun control. Right now its Beyonce lip-syncing. In the morning it will be North Korea threatening to turn us into chalk dust.

Regardless , I’m no longer mad at people’s opinions or thoughts. As long as you have some sort of conviction and actually believe in what youre expressing.

Somewhere along the line it became cool to not give a fuck. In all seriousness….thats NOT cool. So I’m thankful that you even care enough to form an opinion or have a thought. You could just “no comment” everything but youre willing to stick your neck out there to express yourself. Thank you.

Now don’t get me wrong! If youre a troll , or the run of the mill “Devil’s advocate” tweeter , you are a clown. But if you’re being sincere , thanks for being such. Doesn’t just go for the internet either. No one cares. I’m down for you caring , even if we don’t agree.

And stop tweeting about eating butt. You weirdos. I don’t care how you feel about ass play!