worth.

I got lost in New York. This happens all the time. Then my phone battery was on its last legs (don’t charge your 4S on an iPad charger folks). Luckily , I knew where the hell I was going. Just needed to find an L train stop and continue my shopping trip.

I somehow recognized where to go immediately and excitedly crossed the street. I got to the middle and my heart just sank.

I didn’t care about these things I bought. I needed all of them to varying degrees. But it suddenly meant nothing to me. I almost gave up on the last leg of my shopping in Brooklyn (I was coming from downtown Manhattan).

I kinda felt like….is this it? Money and shit I can buy? I won’t lie to you; buying clothes and such fills me with satisfaction at times. Possessions are cool but I felt….empty. Almost “guilty” when I shouldn’t feel guilty. But perhaps there are better places to spend my money?

But in reality it’s not even about the money. If life has taught me anything it’s taught me that everything is cyclical. You will have surplus ; you’ll have nothing. The thing is it always comes back around. I’ve been BROKE , waiting for those super measly Student Government exec board checks to appear. I’ve also been UP and bought all sorts of dumb shit with not a care in the world. I’m never irresponsible with money ; I just know at times you will have it and at other times you won’t.

Growing up as someone who had whatever I wanted…it kind of worked in the reverse for me. I wasn’t “spoiled”. I can appreciate the material. I just don’t feel its necessary nor am I moved by it. My goals have never really been about “how much money can I make/how many kicks can I buy/can I cover my entire forearm in watches?” All of that shit is fleeting. Love and appreciation from those around you and doing what you can to help is far more valuable to me. Always has been. I think I need to “help” more and offer more of myself to the universe.

Id like to touch a few lives and theres no gadget or silly trinket that can do that. It starts with me.

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